Community guidelines
The written rules we moderate by. They exist to protect members from pressure — including from each other.
What this community is
A place for people who don't have and don't want children to talk about the life that follows from that decision — dating, family pressure, friendships, money, work, and what you actually do with the time. Be specific, be honest, be kind to the people in the room.
No pronatalist pressure
Telling a member they will change their mind, will regret it, are selfish, are not a real adult, will die alone, or owe anyone a child is a rule violation. So is pushing someone to reconsider after they have said no, or using someone's disclosed path (medical, not by choice) against them. This rule protects members from each other too: telling an "undecided" or "almost certainly not" member they don't belong here is pronatalist pressure from the inside, and it is treated the same. A member's own expressed doubt is not a violation; neither is describing pressure you received, in quoted form, or on-topic debate about policy or philosophy in the sections where that is the subject. First offence: post removed with a written warning quoting this rule. Second: 7-day posting suspension. Third: removal from the dating side.
No hostility toward parents or children
Attacks on parents or children as a class are equally actionable. Describe your own specific experience as sharply as you need to — but a space that curdles into hating parents is not what this is, and we moderate it as firmly as we moderate pressure aimed at us.
The vent space
Vent is the relief valve: unstructured venting, no advice expected, no quality bar. Posts there are not indexed by search engines and don't count toward reputation. The other rules still apply in full — venting about your day is welcome; targeting a person or a class of people is not. Don't offer unsolicited advice on vent posts unless the author asks.
Provider experiences
First-person accounts only, with the year it happened. Report what occurred — "I was told I needed my spouse's consent" — not clinical conclusions or allegations of malpractice. No medical or legal advice as instruction, anywhere; share what happened to you, not what someone else should do. Providers have a right of reply on every page.
Privacy of others
Never post a private individual's real name, employer, or contact details. Never share screenshots of private messages with identifying details. What is said here about your family and friends stays anonymous to them.
Misrepresentation
Someone whose messages reveal they have minor children at home, want children, or treat your decision as negotiable is misrepresenting themselves on an app whose entire promise is that they aren't. Report it. On a misrepresentation report the subject's dating profile leaves discovery immediately and a human reviews within 24 hours.
The usual floor
No spam or promotion, no harassment, no hate speech, no sexual content involving minors in any form, no scams. Community access requires you to be 18+; dating requires 21+.
Questions or appeals: support@ihavenokids.com. See also dating safety.